The truth is, I'm a liar. Habitual. The events written about here, both true and false and soon to be released as a book and major motion picture, are completely fictitious. All "lies and damn lies". Lies about lies. In short, they never happened, never will happen, and in fact, are not even happening right now. But, IF they did happen, these writings would be an accurate account of how they did. On the other hand, when a liar tells you he's lying, is he telling the truth?
"Whatever the question is, the answer is not found in death, but in life. And that eternal."
~ Swami Pon'depaulo D'acoco Pondo Paula
Only if you want it (and only it), he also said. If not, there are plenty of games to play until we do.
My favorite is floating down the Lazy River. Relax in that cool sparkling water under beaming sunshine with white puffy clouds floating by all on a bright blue background... It's almost like a video game!
Though one can overdo anything I suppose, even under-doing.
Nice to know there doesn't have to be condemnation in learning how to live the right way though. Forgiveness is the key, but truth be told, I suck at it. And don't give me any of that "testing" baloney. I don't need to be tested, I'm so bad at it. Just pass me to the next class 'cause I'm too dumb and I'll never get it anyway. It's too hard. I can't do it. Who can? All the terrible things that have happened to people? Mine are trivial compared to some and I suck at it. Forgive? How can they possibly do it? It's too hard. It simply just can't be done and it's moronic to think it can be done! And probably dangerous too!
But then again, why am I so concerned about others? Each person has his or her own life. Who am I to judge one life harder than another? One better? One easier? One anything other than my own selfish perspective of it? I didn't write the exam. If forgiveness is the answer then that's the answer. I'm not God. If there is one, I'm pretty sure I'm not Him. Yet, I would have to be His son if He existed. There'd be pretty much no way around this idea. Of course I could rebel, deny, avoid, whatever the issue till the cows come home (and believe me, they been home a while now), but it wouldn't change the obvious. Anyway...
It now occurs to me that my "concern" for what others are doing is a pretty good excuse for not doing myself what I'm so concerned about them not doing. Apparently humanity itself is pretty good at doing this "slight of mind" trick.
It's one trick you don't want to perform on yourself though, lest you trick yourself into believing you have no say in the matter.
In other words, we can only "save" ourselves when you boil it all down to the bare bones, right? Put the oxygen mask on yourself before you help anyone else put their's on, or you'll be dead and won't be able to help anyone?
Or you could not even get on the damn plane to begin with. What's wrong with driving? Enjoy the scenery. Take your time. Enjoy the scenery. (Did I mention to enjoy the scenery?) Stop at a few local restaurants... Sightsee! See some sights! See?!
Seems to me there are two ways to approach life. Well, maybe there are more but they would have to include some aspect of either of the aforementioned soon-to-be-explained ways. But because they are so diametrically opposed (these ways), they cannot, in any way, compromise. They are as different as night and day. Or day and night!
They can basically be broken down into two camps, or two types of thinking:
[The capitalization is noted because they are schools of thought; and everybody knows the names of schools should be capitalized.]
If you do things Andy's Way, they basically work out for the better. At least in the long run and the big picture. Andy has problems just like the rest of us, but he always seems to know how to deal with them the right way. Where he gets this profound insight to always "do the right thing", I do not know. And I will not guess. At least I do not know fully. But it seems to be from something beyond just himself. ...We'll leave it at that for now.
I don't know I ever saw an episode where Andy was not Andy though. Not saying there wasn't and I missed it, just that I don't know of any. Andy was the man. If there was a problem, any problem, he could help fix it. Notice I didn't say he could fix it, I said he could help fix it. And I'm also not saying he didn't play a big part in the fixin' of whatever the problem was that needed fixin' (it was HIS show after all)... but Andy never forced anything to happen. It just happened because he seemed to know how to do the right thing at the right time. No ego really. Or at least not one that anyone would mind all that much.
Unless you were some kind of psychopath. Then you'd probably hate him because you mistakenly believe he's everything you're not. But that's just a belief. And he's not. And you're not a psychopath really. Just a really really spoiled little brat who's refused to grow up for the past three hundred lifetimes. And now you're wondering why you have this great urge to kill things. Well, it's symbolic of how you really feel about yourself, deep down inside. It's not necessarily true, the way you feel about yourself deep down inside, but you believe it is for some strange reason. Maybe somebody said you were and you believed them. Still doesn't make it true. And as soon as you let it go, the erroneous, untrue idea about yourself, knowing it's not the truth about who you really are, deep down inside, the sooner you won't be a psychopathic killer anymore.
Yep, it's that simple.
Yes, it might take some trudging through some thick karma to get back home, but there's plenty of help along the way if you really want it. Better to be sane in prison than insane in the world. Not that I'm recommneding prison, but sometimes that's what it takes. It's like that werwolf movie where the guys who's about to change into a werewolf tells them to lock him in the room and don't open the door no matter what, till the full moon's over... Well, kinda like that. Not exactly though...
Then there's Barney's Way, the Barney Fife way of dealing with things. These usually end up in disaster, with Andy or someone else continuing to have to bail him out of trouble. Barney's basic problem is, if you boil it all down to the basic problem... is, he tries too hard. Or tries at all. He think's he's the one who has to save the day, all the day, all the time. But if the truth be known, he really has a poor self-image and tries to compensate that lie by creating other ones that distract from the one that wasn't true in the first place.
And when there isn't a problem in sight, he creates one for something "fun" to do.
I ask you, if you had to vote for either of these men for Congress, or sheriff, or just the damn dogcatcher... which would you vote for?
Why do we keep voting for Barney? Andy's the one who's supposed to be in charge. Hell, Barney doesn't even wanna be sheriff really. Yeah, he says he does, but again, deep down inside, he doesn't believe he really could be. At least not without Andy's help.
I threw away a clock today, figuring I won't be needing it so much anymore. A perfectly good clock. Plastic, cheap, but in working order nonetheless. Into the trash it went though, with no regrets.
Not that time isn't valuable and clocks are not important in keeping track of it, but I'm coming to learn that how we spend it is much more important than keeping track of it. It'll keep track of itself. And saving it? Forget it. The truth is, you can't save time, you can only spend it. We don't have to worry so much about trying to save it though, if we realize there really is plenty of it. How to access that plenty is another story all together. But stayed tuned, I'm sure I'll get to it sooner or later.
Circumstances have caused us to reconsider our geographical location and I am smack in the middle of moving.
Yes, that wonderful experience every American surely knows sooner or later. In fact, it's a pretty universal phenomena, isn't it? Take all your junk from Place A, pack it up, then unpack it down, somewhere else, in Place B. Can take anywhere from three to six months, or more if it's done properly. If it's not, you can probably do it in a day or two if you had to. Here's hoping you never have to. Again.
I say again, because it's been done before. Many times by many different people all over the world. Only it's otherwise known as fleeing. And it's usually done under great duress. And a people that knows it, knows a thing or two about a thing or two. Best not to ever let it get to that stage though is my thinking. Plan ahead by looking ahead. Look ahead by looking around. Nothing ever stays the same, despite what the TV is saying. Change is constant. It's the only thing you can count on. Be aware, and you can save yourself a lot of pain and hardship. We CAN predict the future. Or at least, take an educated good guess at it. And sometime that's enough to get you moving in the right direction. Or staying put.
Violence is the enemy though. In any of its myriad of forms. Physical, verbal, psychological; it doesn't matter. Eventually it all comes back to bite you in the ass. At least that's my opinion after spending a lot of time with violent individuals. Avoid it at all costs is my advice. Not out of fear or a debased sense of self, but out of sheer practicality and logic. If violence IS in fact the enemy, then you can't use violence against violence, because two things that are exactly the same can't be in conflict. The same thing can't be against itself.
Or can it?
"The cuervo gold, the fine columbian.... make tonight a wonderful thing."
Since breaking out of the joint, or rather helping someone else to break out, I've had plenty of time to reflect on things...
Seems they're still the same (things, that is), but my perspective on them is a little different.
It also seems I'm the proverbial poet who doesn't know it. Or maybe I do and I've just been ignoring it all these years. Anyway, came up with this untitled short one recently. Or rather I should say, it was given to me. By exactly who I cannot say, but I think he/she/it likes me.
I'm not God,
And neither are you.
But if I was,
You would be too.
I know, it's not very impressive at first glance, but it's been getting me out of the worst jams lately. I only had the first two lines, maybe for about two months, but they kept popping into my head over and over again whenever it seemed like they were needed. Like they had this magic power or something to suddenly make things better. Weird, I know. But I'm just tellin' it to you straight. I learned that in the joint. There are no secrets in the joint. ...Well, except maybe the ones nobody knows about.
Anyway, the second two lines just popped into my head the other day. Kind of completes the basic premise, that maybe we're not exactly who we think we are, but something more?
Something beyond thinking, beyond thought...
Beyond any finite concept of what it ultimately could be, and in fact, is...